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New survey finds 1 in 3 Americans avoid talking to their partner about finances

NEW YORK –– Financial discussions between couples continue to be a major source of stress for many Americans. A new survey reveals that 32% of people feel uncomfortable talking about money with their significant other — and given how often couples argue about finances, this discomfort isn’t surprising.

According to a survey conducted by Talker Research and commissioned by international money app Wise, the average couple has 58 arguments about money each year. That’s more than one heated discussion per week about finances. For couples where one partner lives in another country, the number of arguments jumps even higher to 72 per year, compared to 53 for couples living in the same place.

Age seems to play a big role in how couples handle money talks. Younger couples, particularly millennials, report about six money-related arguments each month. Baby boomers have an easier time with financial discussions, averaging only three arguments monthly. This suggests that younger couples may be facing different financial pressures than their older counterparts.

Why are so many people nervous about discussing money with their partners? For 44% of those surveyed, the biggest worry is that bringing up finances will lead to an argument. Looking at the numbers, this concern makes sense, especially when you consider what couples argue about most.

The survey found that 43% of couples disagree about what counts as a “necessity” in their monthly spending. Another 36% argue about spending on “non-essential items” like streaming services and vacations. Saving money is another hot topic, with 34% of couples disagreeing about how much they should put away.

But arguments aren’t the only reason people avoid money talks. About 32% of people say they and their partner simply have different ideas about spending and saving. A quarter of those surveyed think their partner isn’t as responsible with money as they are. Some other common concerns include worrying about being judged for financial habits (18%), not wanting to discuss personal debt (17%), and feeling uncomfortable about income differences (16%).

For couples in long-distance international relationships, money talks can be even more complicated. About 27% of these couples say cultural differences in how people talk about money make conversations uncomfortable. On top of that, 42% feel they have more financial details to discuss than couples who live in the same place.

These international couples face some unique challenges. Keeping track of currency exchange rates is a major headache for 36% of them. The same number struggle to figure out the best ways to send or receive money across borders. And 35% say dealing with money transfer fees is a significant problem.

“From cultural differences to individual preferences, how we manage our finances is personal, determined by how we think about the world and the things we value the most,” says Ankita D’Mello, Principal Product Manager at Wise. “But having conversations about money with a romantic partner is important to build toward a shared financial future.”

The research shows an interesting gap between what people want and what they have in their relationships. While 82% of Americans believe couples should share similar views about money for a healthy relationship, only 69% say they actually have matching financial philosophies with their partner.

This gap is even wider for couples in international relationships. About 73% of people with partners in other countries say they need more conversations about money, compared to just 37% of couples who live in the same place.

Speaking to these challenges, D’Mello notes, “For couples in cross-border relationships, the basics of splitting finances with a partner can become unnecessarily complex and expensive to navigate — from sending and receiving money to paying bills in multiple currencies.” She emphasizes finding the right tools to help manage international finances, adding, “To remove this added pressure from their relationship, it’s crucial for cross-border couples to find financial tools that cater specifically to their international money needs.”

Being open about money matters is especially important when dealing with international finances. As D’Mello puts it, “As in any healthy relationship, transparency is key, which is why it’s important to seek providers that are upfront about fees to avoid any unexpected charges.”