I want to talk so much about this merge episode of Survivor 48, but my mind is somewhere else. And that is truly saying something because do you know hard it is to get me thinking about something other than Survivor? My wife has basically stopped talking to me during Survivor seasons, finally conceding defeat to my limited attention span. But I’m not thinking about Survivor now. Because all I can think about is how awkward Thanksgiving is going to be at Star’s house this November.

Poor Grandma Tee Tee! Poor Auntie Nicole! Family members of Star are out here catching strays in the jungles of Fiji for no good reason! And let’s hope there is no middle child in Star’s family or else a table is definitely getting flipped. Those folks are going to be so at each other’s throats that people might mistake them for a Vula family reunion. (Everyone says they want to see Eva and Joe on The Amazing Race. Give me Sai and Cedrek any day of the week. And that is coming from the card-carrying president of the #Joeva fan club.)

But the Tee Tee and Nicole fan fiction will have to wait, because we need to jam though this season’s merge episode — which is no longer called a merge episode even though people take part in a challenge, and one person wins individual immunity, and everyone votes and can be voted out. Guess what? If it walks like a merge and talks like a merge, it’s a merge! Anyway, I’m actually away this week, so this will be a bit streamlined. (Do your best to contain your excitement.) Anyhoodle, here’s what stuck out to me on episode 6 of this so far stellar season.

When 3 become 1

It’s always fascinating seeing the shifting dynamics at play when all the contestants finally join together on one beach. You get drama… like Charity coming after Eva. You get comedy… like Joe and David concocting plans to heist and horde the entire global supply of chocolate milk. And you get hilarious juxtapositions, like Sai being excited to reunite with Mary… only for Mary to publicly proclaim war against the color green. (Turns out Kermit was right: It is not easy being green.)

Strategically, the most interesting thing was the formation of an alliance of I guess what can best be described as, like, honest athletic people??? “The game does not have to be this new generation of stabbing people in the back and doing crazy moves just for the pizazz,” Joe told us, alarming every CBS network executive alive in the process while simultaneously also delighting fans of outdated 1940s lingo. That’s showin’ ‘em moxie, Joe!

David, Joe, Eva, Kyle, and Shauhin were the new Muscles ‘R’ Us alliance, with David announcing, “We are getting all the strong people together and we are winning Survivor 48.” Okay, okay — even though my spindly frame and past-his-prime age both immediately disqualify me from membership in this band of bodacious biceps, I am intrigued. This is an interesting group‚ even if Kyle’s true number one is 5-foot-1 physical powerhouse Kamilla, and his entire game is not only not honest but “built on deception.”

Still, I’m on board. Tell me more, David…. “Let’s have a season where we put someone on the podium who deserves to be there.” Ummmm… check, please!

I’ll give David a pass on Rachel LaMont since Survivor 47 hadn’t yet aired when that quote was uttered, but Kenzie Petty played a flawless social game in Survivor 46. Dee Valladares was a straight-up assassin in Survivor 45. Denigrate their wins at your own risk! To be fair, it is entirely possible that non-Survivor fan David had never seen those seasons when he stepped foot on the island. I’m not even entirely show if he knew what show he was on when he stepped foot on the island. Or maybe he watched these installments while drunk on 18 gallons of Nesquik. Either way, “worth” in Survivor has nothing to do with the size of your muscles. (Granted, convenient for a weakling like me to say.)

In defense of Sai

I know there are some viewers out there who have not taken to Sai. And to that, my response is: How can you not appreciate what this woman is bringing to the game? “I came to play,” she told us this week. “I’m really truthfully willing to do anything as long as it keeps me safe and gets me further.” Yes, you are! And thank you for it.

Now, I’m not telling you that Sai is playing the game well, but whether almost running over Charity to get the challenge advantage, or telling Cedrek she had no interest in talking to him “because you continue to lie” even though he just saved her in the game, or pushing for Eva to go at the merge instead of feeling everyone out to see what the majority wanted, Sai is creating story all over the place.

She is a producer’s dream, because what makes a contestant a great TV personality is not merely what they do, but rather how they force other players to react to their actions. And Sai has forced a lot of reactions this season, making her a fantastic addition to the cast. And I’m happy we get at least another week of seeing what she can stir up.

You’ve got mud on you

The setup for this team merge challenge was the same as last season, and the contest itself was almost a carbon copy as well, with a puzzle substituted for 47’s ball maze. Folks were separated into tribes, with the winners getting a feast and then a chance to compete in a second competition for immunity. The big headline here was Cedrek’s inability to get up the ramp. We’ll get more into that in a bit, but yeah, I was surprised. I didn’t have the self-proclaimed butt doctor chalked up as an athletic dynamo or anything, but I also didn’t see him being the weak link either. Props to Mitch for helping him up that rope.

Mary, Chrissy, Kamilla, Kyle, David, Star, and Sai (who got the advantage fast pass to the individual portion of the contest) then advanced to round two. See, these are the type of advantages for challenges I can get behind. Historically, I have never liked challenge advantages simply because I think it is more dramatic watching contestants compete on an even playing field. If someone with an advantage wins, you never know how they would have fared without it. But here we got to see Sai start at the exact same place as everyone else trying to balance a ball on an ever-expanding pole (that sounded dirtier than I intended).

Kyle pulled out the win, but the win also kinda turned into a loss because Probst then made him immediately put the brand new blue buff on his positively filthy body caked with mud. You just KNOW Kyle was sooooooo bummed to have to dirty up his clean and pristine buff, and I half wonder if there was a conversation that got edited out in which the lawyer pleaded his case to the judge to put it on later after he washed off all the grime. This is clearly one case the counselor lost.

The result of the challenge also led to David proclaiming, “I’m buffless,” which I’m guessing has to be the first time he has ever been called that.

A Star in the making

Star may be in some hot water back home with Tee Tee and Nicole, but this was a breakout episode for the high-energy dynamo. I loved the scene of Star sitting alone watching the boats of players en route to her tribe beach and mentally preparing herself for the change to come: “Today I am about peace. We can do war tomorrow.”

She also was amazing in the individual immunity contest, coming up just short against eventual winner Kyle. And she aggressively appeared to be the first person to put a name out at the reward feast, throwing Charity under the bus and telling us that while others may be scared to float someone, “I will say a name any day of the week!” Yeah, you will, Star! That’s why you’re on the show, baby! Love it!

And are we seriously going to sit here and pretend Star did not almost destroy the Tribal Council pen by sending the cap flying off into God knows where? She was dancing up to the urn, and then kind flipped the pen from one hand to the other looking super cool and coordinated… and then it all went bad. She momentarily morphed into freakin’ Benry from Nicaragua, who once proudly announced at the voting urn “Benry’s here, baby!” only to then knock a paperweight onto the ground approximately 2.3 seconds later — necessitating a super awkward “My bad.”

But where this Star truly shined (that was too easy) was in giving a despondent Cedrek a pep talk after his disastrous challenge performance. “No, no, that’s not what we’re doing,” she told him while sitting by his side. “You’re doing it for all the fathers out here. You’re doing the damn thing. Your kids watching will be proud.”

I have interviewed literally hundreds of players before the game on trips to location and I don’t think I have even spoken with a bigger bundle of energy than Star. She was practically jumping out of her skin during our chat. So to see her show this different side and be so calmly supportive of a guy she literally just met was pretty amazing. Tee Tee and Nicole should be proud. Unless they’re pissed off. Two things can be true at once, you know.

Charity begins at (and is going) home

Sai and Star weren’t the only ones throwing out names immediately post-merge. Charity was equally in on that action. Not only did Charity throw my girl Eva’s name out there — immediately putting her on double secret probation in my book — but she also went to Star and told Star to demand her idol back.  As much as I want to wrestle (and, yes, lose to) anyone that tries to take down Eva, I actually applaud this move by Charity because I cannot think of anything more hilarious in the entire world than Star giving Eva the idol and then one day later demanding it back.

Forget about a Golden God winning $5.8 million on a show with an unwieldy acronym, this would have been the height of televised entertainment in 2025. True must-see TV. As much as I am loving Star and Eva now being on the same page, I would have blown that entire book to smithereens just to see that scene, and I thank Charity for at least attempting to bring that into our lives.

Poor Charity. She was on the bottom pretty much from day one and I’m not entirely sure why. I mentioned some people pre-game were on edge about her, but I had a great talk with Charity on the island. Yes, she threw names out there once on the beach — starting with Kyle — and I can only assume that is what put folks on edge with her, because she seems like an otherwise personable and engaging lady.

And not only was she voted out right at the merge, and not only was she basically betrayed by her entire tribe except for Mitch, but then, worst of all, she had to sit there and listen to her former tribe mates all hooting and hollering in the distance as they received their new merge buffs and she sat there waiting to deliver her final words just off the Tribal Council set. Brutal. But she rose above it all in those final words to proclaim that “I’m sad, but I’m not bitter.” Which is really too bad because bitter is a lot more fun to watch on TV. Stop being so classy, adorable cast of Survivor 48!!!

Speaking of classy, I’d like to give myself props for nary a mention of butt-sniffing in this entire recap. I mean, they cued it right up for me and everything. I could have laid down 1,000 words on that, easy! But there are other things to get to.

Speaking of which, if you haven’t yet checked out my exclusive interview with Eva and Joe, do that immediately and get ready to start crying all over again. Oh, and I also have an exclusive mid-game interview with Kamilla ready and waiting for you. We’ll also see what Hostmaster General Jeff Probst has to say about the episode, and we’ve got an exclusive deleted scene for your eyes and your eyes only. (That’s not true. Anyone is allowed to watch.) Plus, make sure to check back for our exit interview with Charity to see where and why it all went wrong. Of course, you can also weigh in on the episode yourself in the comments below, so hit that up and I’ll be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!