Atopic dermatitis, commonly referred to as eczema, has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. For many years, I didn’t even know what it was called. My journey with this condition began in childhood, but I wasn’t properly diagnosed until after high school.

Looking back, there are so many things I wish I had known about atopic dermatitis and its effects on my life. For instance, I wish I knew about the importance of consistency and how stress and diet play a role. Since I can’t tell my past self, I hope sharing my story will help others in the same situation.

Before I lay out what I wish I had known, here’s my story…

I was about 8 or 9 years old when I noticed something was wrong with my skin. At first, there were just a few itchy patches here and there. These patches appeared on my arms, behind my knees, and on my neck. I didn’t think much of it initially. Living on Lana’i, a small island in Hawai’i where I spent a lot of time outdoors biking and walking, I assumed it was merely dry skin or some temporary irritation from the sun. However, it didn’t go away. Instead, the patches spread, and the itching became unbearable.

The more I scratched, the worse it got. The patches became inflamed and raw, and soon, the skin started to bleed. The discomfort wasn’t just cosmetic—it was painful. My parents tried everything they could think of—moisturizing creams, ointments, and even old home remedies they’d heard about. But nothing worked. The patches kept spreading, and the itching only seemed to worsen.

At that time, I had no idea what I was dealing with. I had never heard of eczema or dermatitis, and there were no clear explanations. Our island had only one general practitioner who wasn’t a specialist. As a result, he offered his best guess and recommended creams that provided short-term relief but didn’t address the root cause. It felt like my parents and I weren’t getting the right answers. Every visit to the doctor left me feeling frustrated, as we seemed to be going in circles with no real solution. It wasn’t until years later that I learned the condition had a name: atopic dermatitis.

As I grew older, my condition didn’t improve. If anything, it became more unpredictable and frustrating. High school was particularly tough for me, not just because of the typical pressures of adolescence—friendships, schoolwork, and figuring out who I was—but also due to the constant battle with my skin. The patches would flare up unexpectedly, often when I least expected it. I avoided wearing shorts, T-shirts, and tank tops since the flare-ups were more noticeable all over my body. I felt like I was always hiding parts of myself, and no matter how hard I tried to cover it up, my skin was always a source of concern.

I remember feeling embarrassed about my skin. The itching was constant, and sometimes I would scratch so much that my skin would bleed. I started to feel self-conscious, especially when the flare-ups were particularly noticeable on my face, legs, arms, and neck. I wanted to fit in and look “normal,” but this condition made me feel different. It was hard not to notice the stares or the discomfort I felt during social situations.

To help manage my condition, I continued to see the doctor regularly. Each week, I would go in for allergy shots, hoping the treatments would help. These weekly visits became part of my routine, but unfortunately, they didn’t provide lasting relief. The shots were just another temporary fix, and I began to feel trapped in a cycle of ongoing treatments that never addressed the root cause.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that stress played a significant role in the flare-ups. The pressures of high school and the frustration of managing my skin often led to more intense outbreaks. I also noticed that certain products, like soaps, detergents, or fabrics, irritated my skin, but I didn’t understand why. Everything felt so random and out of my control.

It was frustrating, and there wasn’t much talk about it in my family or community. I felt isolated in my experience. No one around me seemed to understand what I was going through, and I didn’t know anyone else with a similar condition. I had nothing to compare it to, and it was hard to feel confident in myself when my body was constantly in discomfort.

Because no specialists were on the island, I had to travel to O’ahu to see a dermatologist or allergist. The closest specialist was in Honolulu, a 45-minute flight away. Every few months, I would make the journey to consult these specialists. The travel was draining, and it wasn’t just the flight; it involved coordinating appointments, taking time off from school, and managing the additional costs of the visits. However, it was my only option to get answers.

My hope of finding answers was flying to O’ahu several times a year. Each visit blended hope and frustration—hope that this time I’d gain some clarity but frustration at having to travel so far for treatment. Finally, after years of shuttling between Lana’i and O’ahu, I saw a dermatologist after high school who confirmed the diagnosis: atopic dermatitis.

When I finally received the diagnosis, I felt relieved to learn that I had eczema, even though I still wasn’t entirely sure what it was. My doctor took the time to educate me about the condition, explaining how it was related to my immune system and what I could do to manage it.

I remember experiencing a clarity I hadn’t felt before. While I was happy to understand what I was dealing with, I also realized how much time I had spent suffering without proper guidance or understanding. I had visited doctors, received allergy shots, and tried various treatments, but it wasn’t until this moment that I truly began to gain the knowledge I needed to take control of my condition.

Reflecting on my past, there are several things I wish I had understood sooner about atopic dermatitis. These insights could have helped me manage my condition more effectively and feel less isolated in my experience.

Atopic Dermatitis Is More Than Just Skin Deep

One of my biggest lessons is that atopic dermatitis is not merely a skin issue. It’s linked to my immune system, which overreacts to environmental triggers. It’s often associated with other allergic conditions, such as hay fever. Had I understood this connection sooner, it would have aided me in approaching treatment more holistically, focusing on my skin and managing my overall health.

Consistency Is Key

Before I was diagnosed, I tried many different treatments, hoping for a quick fix. I would switch between creams and lotions, always expecting the best. It wasn’t until I established a consistent skincare routine that I saw lasting improvement. 

Using gentle, fragrance-free products, moisturizing regularly, and avoiding known triggers became part of my daily routine. I learned that consistency is crucial for managing eczema—it’s not about finding a miracle cure but about sticking to a plan that works. Everyone is different.

Stress Makes Everything Worse

I wish I had understood the powerful connection between stress and eczema flare-ups sooner. As a teenager, I didn’t realize how much stress significantly affected my skin. Whether it was school pressure, social anxiety, or personal struggles, stress always seemed to worsen my flare-ups. 

Learning to manage stress—through mindfulness, meditation, or simply taking breaks—has been crucial for managing my condition. It’s not always easy, but discovering ways to keep stress in check has made a significant difference.

Diet Can Play a Role

I didn’t realize the impact of diet on eczema until much later. Over time, I noticed that certain foods, like dairy and processed sugars, seemed to trigger flare-ups. Eating a healthful, balanced diet has helped reduce flare-ups, and I’ve learned that nutrition is crucial in managing my skin health.

There Are Support Networks Out There

Growing up, I often felt like I was the only one struggling with eczema. Few people around me understood what I was going through, and there wasn’t the type of information or support we have today. In the ’80s and ’90s, online communities didn’t exist, making it difficult to find others who shared similar experiences. I wish I had known that other people were facing the same challenges.

In those days, I felt isolated, with little understanding of what was happening or how to manage it effectively. Many more resources are available today, and support networks are easier to access. Websites like the National Eczema Association now offer valuable information, tips, and a sense of community for those with eczema. 

It’s comforting to know that, nowadays, people don’t have to go through it alone like I did. These resources can make a significant difference, providing advice, emotional support, and a connection to others facing the same challenges.

Managing atopic dermatitis remains a significant challenge, but I feel much better equipped to handle it now. With an improved treatment plan, consistency, and stress management techniques, I’ve significantly reduced the frequency and intensity of flare-ups. There are still tough days, but I’ve learned to take it one step at a time.

One of the most encouraging changes I’ve seen over the years is the development of new medications that don’t rely on steroids. These treatments have given me more options, and I don’t have to depend on steroids like I used to. It’s refreshing to know that there are alternatives to help manage the condition without the long-term side effects that steroids can cause.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to be patient. Understand that atopic dermatitis is a chronic condition that will take time to manage. With the proper knowledge, treatment, and support, you can still lead a fulfilling life despite this eczema.

Looking back, I wish I had realized earlier how vital consistency, self-care, and patience were. Atopic dermatitis doesn’t define me—it’s just one part of my story. This journey taught me to take charge of my health and embrace the process. I also hope that anyone struggling with eczema today finds solace in knowing they’re not alone and that, with the right approach, it’s entirely possible to manage and live well.