To the Editor:

Re “The Joy of Breaking Up With an Abusive Parent,” by Eamon Dolan (Opinion guest essay, March 9):

I am a Catholic deacon and a pediatric registered nurse. I have seen a lot of the pain children endure at the hands of their parents. At times, it’s parents’ ignorance or poor decisions that result in harm to their child. But too often it is willful neglect or active abuse. I am an advocate for the priority of parents over the lives of their children, but there is no hiding the fact that the majority of physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual abuse occurs within the confines of the family.

People have a right to be safe. Children have a right to be safe. Everyone has a right to disassociate themselves with anyone who is causing them harm — physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual.

Mr. Dolan should feel no shame in estranging himself from his abusive mother. She is the reason for their estrangement, not he. Children often feel that they deserve the hurt they suffer, because adults teach them this. It is a rare adult, indeed, who comes to terms with the fact that he or she is not the cause of the hurt they suffered as a child, or as an adult for that matter.

The one who has been hurt can forgive, but that is not the same as reconciliation. Reconciliation requires a great deal of work to regain the trust that was lost. Perhaps Mr. Dolan will someday choose to pray and work toward that, even while he keeps himself safe.

Bob Hunt
Knoxville, Tenn.

To the Editor:

I am dismayed by the guest essay by Eamon Dolan celebrating the breakdown in communication among family members. I personally know three families where this has occurred and have been in touch with the parents and the children involved. In all cases, they experience great regret and remorse. The pain on both sides has been immense.

I certainly have not seen the exhilaration or relief that the author suggests. What I have seen is a breakup of good families over issues that could possibly be resolved with effort, and it is certainly worth it to try.

Richard J. Gonzalez
Evanston, Ill.

To the Editor:

Even though it has been decades since my mother passed away and the trauma has been dealt with through years of therapy, Eamon Dolan’s essay reminds me of the importance of bringing the subject to light. Severing the ties with abusive loved ones can bring peace, rebirth and freedom.

I come from a Hispanic family of eight children and two parents, where close-knit family bonds are assumed and expected. Before and after I cut ties with my mother, I was surrounded by women who bragged endlessly about their closeness to their mothers. I remained silent because I had one advantage they did not have after my mother passed on. When she died, I felt no pain at the loss. Nothing.

I had long ago accepted that it was not in the cards for me to have had such a close relationship, and it was OK. I have moved on. I am no longer terrified of her, and the nightmares are gone. I do not hate my mother. What sadly happened between us spared me from the deep pain usually felt upon losing a parent. I do not believe that was her intent, but I’m grateful for the outcome.

Teri Granillo
Chula Vista, Calif.

Detaining Mahmoud Khalil

To the Editor:

As a Jewish alumnus of Columbia University’s School of International and Public Affairs, the graduate school that Mahmoud Khalil attended, and the stepfather of a first-year Barnard College student, I am horrified by the unconstitutional mistreatment of Mr. Khalil.

If he had expressed pro-Israeli views, the Trump administration would have lauded him; for defending a Palestinian perspective, Mr. Khalil faces deportation.

Time for Columbia to stand by its motto: “In lumine tuo videbimus lumen,” translated from the Latin as “In your light we will see the light.”

Let the leaders at the university rebuff President Trump’s blackmail, back Mr. Khalil and set a bright example of standing up against bigots and for free speech that my stepdaughter and those far from campus will recognize and rally to support.

Mark S. Sternman
Somerville, Mass.

Trump’s ‘Great’ America

To the Editor:

It is quickly becoming clear that what President Trump means by “great” is very much a reflection of who he is: self-centered to the point of narcissism, having the power to hurt others, intolerant, greedy and shallow.

The U.S. has certainly always had a tendency toward those qualities, but that is not what has made our country great. Our true greatness has come from our commitment to work together to preserve freedom, human rights and a society based on mutual respect.

We are in danger of losing that core vision. Now is the time for our leaders to remember what does make us great, and begin to say “no” to Mr. Trump’s attempt to remake our country in his image.

Richard Kunz
Newark, Del.