Survivor is all about floating the right name at the right time, but for Charity Nelms, her game got off to a rocky start when she floated the wrong name at the wrong time. Not long after being dropped on the beach, Charity mentioned getting rid of Kyle Fraser. The problem is, she mentioned it to Kyle’s number one ally, Kamilla Karthigesu, who then used the move to box her opponent into a corner.

Charity never truly recovered, and when she tried to move forces against Eva Erickson and Sai Hughley at the merge, it wasn’t enough, with even her original Civa tribe (except for Mitch Guerra) turning against her and making Charity the first casualty after everyone was brought onto the same beach. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she then had to listen to the group celebrating getting their new merge buffs as she waited to deliver her final words. (Ouch.)

We caught up with the flight attendant to get the inside scoop on her rocky take-off and landing, and find out more about what didn’t make it to TV.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Tell me what you thought was happening when you walked into Tribal. Did you know it might be you, or were you feeling relatively safe?

CHARITY NELMS: So the whole day, I felt relatively safe and I was like, “Everybody seems to be complaining about Sai — people who were on our tribe, people who weren’t.” I feel kind of safe, but there was one thing that tipped me off and I went into Tribal knowing, “Okay, if you go out tonight, go out with dignity. Don’t make a big scene. Look normal.”

And there were two reasons why I felt tipped off. One was I noticed I was the last person to go do my confessional with producers. And I thought, “That’s interesting. Why would I be saved for last?” I just had this weird kind of gut feeling. And then when I was walking back from that, Kyle, Kamilla, and I can’t remember who else it was, I want to say it was Eva or somebody, they were walking back from the water well, and I met them at this cross in the road. I took one look at Kyle’s face and I just felt this energy that I was like, “Wait a minute.”

What happened is [producers] were like, “Okay, we’re ready to go to Tribal, everybody get your stuff together.” And I had all of my clothes drying, because they were still soaking wet from our challenge, and I was going to leave my shoes to dry. And at the very last minute I went, “You know what, Charity? You need to go grab your shoes.” I grabbed my shoes. and I’m glad I did. Everything else was left out there in the trees.

What was it like seeing your name come up on parchment?

It’s not a good feeling, but that’s also what you sign up for. I was prepared for that. I was prepared for the worst, and I knew if I go home tonight again, I’m going to try to do this in the most graceful way possible. I am living a dream out here. I was having a grand old time out there on the island — probably why I looked so clueless. I was just having the best time ever.

So could you hear all your former tribemates whooping it up and celebrating as they got their merge buffs as you’re waiting around the corner  to record your final words?

I could. It hurt a little bit. And, of course, I wish I would’ve been there at that moment, but I walked out of that game with nothing but gratitude. It was a 10-year lifelong dream for me. And so I was super, super grateful and just like I said on that exit interview — which, honestly I blacked out in that I didn’t remember a word I said; I told my husband, “I don’t remember what I said on that. It could get really wild. I have no idea.” But I said, “I’m sad but not bitter.” And that’s really just kind how I felt.

But we want bitter Charity! We love bitter TV as viewers. That’s the fun stuff!

I actually am pretty fun. I really loved everybody out there. Wasn’t scheming the whole time. I actually am a very trustworthy person.

What was your reception at Ponderosa like?

First of all, everyone at Ponderosa was incredible. Love those people. Love those humans. Can’t wait to hug them soon. I get to see a lot of them in the next couple weeks. I think everybody was kind of expecting me to come in really bitter and frustrated. And I think that’s because that was their experience. And so they had all been talking, and it’s frustrating. But I was just overwhelmed with how much gratitude I had to be in the game.

Obviously, you don’t want to be voted out first. I’m very competitive, clearly, but whether I was voted out first or I won the game, the level of gratitude does not change for me. And so I walked in full peace and I was like, “Yeah, it was my time to go. I had a great time. It was awesome.” And they were all just kind of shocked, “You’re not upset?” And I was like, “Of course I’m upset, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s a game. I didn’t win, but I had a great time.” And I had a couple comments of “We kind of needed this energy here at Ponderosa,” and there was a little bit of a shift for the days that I was there, which I’m honored and flattered that I could do that.

Let’s talk about the challenge advantage. You saw it. Did Sai see it or did she see you going for it?

Sai went off on her own and I was like, “Homegirl is way too smart. I don’t want her to be alone.” So I went in the same direction and Sai actually passed the advantage and didn’t see it. I was behind her in my clogs. In clogs! Very hard to run in. I saw it first, but technically Sai was closer.

I saw it first and it was my fault. I gasped, and she heard me so we both took off at the same time. She was just coming from a different angle. And the camera work on that was incredible. It looked like Sai came out of nowhere, and she was just a little closer. I was in clogs. I was never going to make it there first, but I saw it there first and it was my gasp that tipped her off. If I wouldn’t have gasped, I probably would’ve had a little bit of a head start on her.

You were floating Eva’s name out there, and even encouraged Star to ask for her idol back, which I love because that would have been hilarious if she had done that.

I know! And Star was so unpredictable, that’s why I was like, she could do it!

What kind of reception do you feel that got from folks when you pushed for Eva?

To be honest, it kind of felt like everybody understood that and would want to do that. But because of Eva getting to share her story, I think a lot of people were just scared to do that — to look bad when that was a very real moment that transcended the game. That was a human moment. But we are also playing the game now, and to treat her differently because of that I personally don’t think is fair.

I think that we’re all on the same playing field. She is incredible, brave, smart, and that’s why I want her out of the game. She also has an idol in her bag that wasn’t really hers. So the reception to that was like, “We think you’re right. And yeah, we kind of want to do that too,” but we’re scared. And I think I was just the person who… honestly, Sai said it too. Sai wasn’t scared either, but it was clear that we could not get that on board. There was no way

You were kind of on the bottom from the get-go on Civa. I guess the first question about that is: Did you know you were on the bottom?

Yeah, it felt that way.

How could you pick up on that?

It’s energy. You can feel it. Kamilla and I were on the bottom. I felt that energy towards both of us. And I think people who say they don’t have regrets are absolutely lying. First regret is: Why did I tell Kamilla that? I didn’t know her well enough to really trust her. And, unfortunately, all the confessionals of me being like, “There’s something off about Kamilla. I’m not connecting with her the way that I feel like I should and something feels sneaky” — none of that is shown.

But I went to Kamilla and I was like, “Hey, I don’t know if you recognize, but you and I are on the bottom here and my thought pattern was if we could link up and be a bloc of two, that would make us a little stronger so that people don’t just pick us off if we go to Tribal.” But, unfortunately, that’s not how it worked. Absolute incredible gameplay on Kamilla’s part to go take that and run it back. My ding-dong self should have done that, but it’s just you pick the wrong person sometimes, or you say the wrong thing.

But I felt that energy immediately and it was because I was the only person who I wasn’t questioning because the thing is, I really wasn’t playing that hard. I pulled back so hard on who my true self is in the form of a hundred miles per hour to nothing. I pulled back on that. So even when I was the only person kind of questioning like, “Okay, hold on, we’re saying that Kyle— this strong buff man — lost to a guy with one arm? And then also, I’ve never seen glass in Survivor unless it’s a timer. So I’m not saying he’s lying. I just want to make sure that we’re following through on all avenues.” And I was the only one who even slightly questioned that. And that immediately puts a target on your back.

How did you and Mitch become such big allies?

Mitch is my buddy. Mitch is my friend. Yeah, I love him. We got to the beach and you can just pick up on energy. I immediately recognized Mitch as such a strong person. He has such an incredible story. You see him sometimes even struggling to communicate. He deals with that on a moment-to-moment basis. And I just saw that and was like: I love this person, such a strong person and has been through so much and carries so much joy. And I’ll just say, Mitch and I laughed out there together for six days straight. It was some of the hardest laughter I have ever had in my life. Belly laugh, tears. And that just kind of bonded Mitch and I. We really just got along out there.

Eva accused you of being fake, and sometimes being fake is totally part of the game. Were you being fake at that moment? Was that genuine or were you acting?

I mean, if I was that good at acting, I would be in Hollywood, babe. I’ll say this. There was a lot of “Charity’s playing really hard. She’s not trustworthy, she’s fake.” But all of that is everyone else saying that about me. There’s not a single clip to back it up. I was very genuine out there to every single person. And there are a lot of clips of people sharing things with me and coming to me first with things because I was someone who wanted to learn about everyone.

I love people. My entire career is flying hundreds and thousands of people around in a day. I am a very genuine person and I will stand by that. I think that sometimes my frankness can come off a little harsh and maybe that can be misunderstood, but fake is never something I have ever been accused of. I need to pull back on the realness. It really gets me into trouble, especially this whole general region [points to face].

I always ask you guys before the game, “Who are you feeling? Who are you not feeling?” And you received very strong reactions both ways. There are people who wanted to work with you, and there are other people who were like, “Whoa, that’s intense. I’m a little worried about her.” And they were judging without you guys ever saying a word to each other.

That was wild to read because in my mind, I really am just kind of like this goofy, self-deprecating presence, and I have learned a lot from this. I am kind of a you love or hate kind of person. And obviously I’m learning. There is definitely self-awareness to come out of this, but I was shocked by how many people had mentioned my name. And my lips were zipped that whole time! So I must carry some kind of presence, or obviously the looks on my face can be mistaken. I was like, “Wow, I’m so popular before I even say anything.”

What’s something that happened out there that didn’t make it to TV but you wish we had seen?

I have thought about this since the moment happened, I wish they would have aired that as soon as we did the swap and we got to the Lagi beach, Star turned to me, secretly looked at me, and said, “I have the advantage. I want to work with you. I think you’re cool. I feel like you’re trustworthy.” And so she gave me the advantage.

And when we’re all sitting in the shelter and Eva’s revealing to us that Star has the advantage, but she can’t figure it out, it had already been in my bag. And if I would’ve known she would’ve been willing to give it, of course I would’ve solved it for her. But I had other plans of, I wanted to hold onto the advantage to act like I am going to help her solve it. But if we go to Tribal, now I know who has the advantage and she doesn’t have a vote. And I felt like that could have been a really easy vote out on that Lagi beach.

Finally, has anyone recognized you mid-air on the job?

It’s very awkward because a lot of my coworkers don’t know and they’re like, “Wait, you did what?” And I was like, “Yeah, I did.” But I didn’t talk about it or tell anyone. If people recognize me, that’s so kind. But yeah, it’s kind of like, “Oh, thank you so much. I’m so glad you watched Survivor. Would you like a Coke?”

Sign up for Entertainment Weekly‘s free daily newsletter to get breaking news, exclusive first looks, recaps, reviews, interviews with your favorite stars, and more.