Kevin Leung felt all kinds of pain in his Survivor 48 experience. At first, it was all physical when the 34-year-old finance manager dislocated his shoulder just minutes into the game during the opening challenge — warranting a medical intervention that did not make it into the final cut for TV. But the pain Kevin felt during last night’s episode was of the emotional variety after being brutal blindsided by his Vula tribemates, who turned on him after he decided to take a shot at Sai Hughley.

Kevin seemed to be reeling as his torch was snuffed by Jeff Probst. What was going through his mind during those last moments in the game? We asked the ousted player exactly that when we linked up with Kevin the morning after his televised exit. We also inquired as to that epic challenge fail, everything surrounding his big shoulder injury, and what else we did not see on TV. Read on for info, intel, and insight.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Tell me your rection when you see your name come up three times at Tribal Council, because you looked absolutely stunned.

KEVIN LEUNG: Yeah, I was very shocked in that moment. I kind of knew that Sai was kind of distrustful. It was kind of just painting up the picture of: Okay, who would these two men, Cedrek and Justin, trust more, me or Sai? And at that moment I was like: I have to make a big swing at this moment or else if we go back to Tribal again — which we saw our challenge performance; it was inevitable that we might go back again — I was like, it needs to be now or I’m dead at the next Tribal. So yeah, I was very shocked.

We spoke out there. I know how much this meant to you and the big dreams in your head of how you were going to play and what you were going to do, so how much did it hurt going out that early?

This was a rough five days. I actually do feel like in five days, I thought it was at least a month or two months from dislocating my shoulder. I actually blacked out during that marooning challenge, so I fully don’t even remember them popping it back in, me screaming at the top of my lungs. And then doing that supplies challenge, which my tribe made me do. Just doing all that, and our first Tribal, then we lose our second immunity challenge. It’s just been a long journey. So for me, it’s really hard to see myself go out second. I really had high hopes for myself and I really put a lot of expectations on myself that I was going to do really well, and I really feel like I played so hard, and this is the outcome of it.

How has it been over the past eight months and what was like watching it play back on TV last night?

At first the coming back home in isolation… so my shoulder was completely torn. I did an MRI, had four tears on my shoulder. I couldn’t actually even lift it up my arm, So what you saw on the show, I was so scared to get medevaced every single time we had a check-in or anything that I just sucked it up and held a deep breath and was like, “You’re out here. You can’t get medevaced, so you need to just suck it up, smile, whatever it takes, make sure that your tribe doesn’t think that you are weak or injured.”

So looking at the screen and seeing that guy, it does make me sad. I know how much pain I was in and I don’t know how much time I have left with my shoulder, but seeing it back on TV and just watching everyone conspire, I was also steaming as well. I got to admit there was gameplay left and right, and I’m not mad at anybody for how we all played hard and this was a game move. Nothing was personal, just a game move. So yeah, it was hard to see, but I’m also kind of impressed, like, “Wow, you guys all did it.”

You brought up the shoulder, and as you know, I was out there when I happened and watched all the stuff that you don’t remember with the green whistle. The first thing you said when you came out of it was “Did we win?” Which showed how out of it you were in that the challenge wasn’t even over.  It certainly was a very dramatic moment, yet didn’t even make the air. Did that surprise you?

I mean, this is a TV show at the end of it, and this is an edited show. I love Survivor. I love every part of the process, but I was a little surprised because it was just so big a part of my journey and it was a huge scene that happened. I’m glad you guys wrote about it because I think it actually made me recollect like, “Oh wow, all these things happened.” I don’t even remember blacking out. I remember that kazoo in my mouth because I remember I was just like, “Help! I need help!” And they were just like, “You got this.”

So yeah, it was a little bit sad to not have that be shown because at least for me, it’s like: I get it, I go out second, maybe I’m not part of the whole storyline. And there were some statements like, “Oh yeah, it wasn’t that integral.” And I was fine. I tried to play as hard as I can. They popped it back in and I was like, “Let’s go. Let’s do this challenge and let’s just play right now.” But yeah, I was a little sad that it wasn’t shown.

But maybe it was integral. Do you think your shoulder ultimately took you out in the sense that, did you get any indication from your tribe during the time there — or maybe after as you guys have spoken — that they were worried that you maybe eventually were going to have to get pulled from the game, and so that’s why they voted you out?

That’s my inclination of what happened. I mean, Stephanie said it last week in the exit press too. She emphasized how bad my shoulder actually was. I actually had to make a sling out of the only jacket that I had. At nighttime, I didn’t want any of my tribe members to feel like I was really injured. I couldn’t sleep at all with my shoulder because of the pain, so I just went out to the beach and wept on the sand at night, and I came back in the morning and tried to put my best face forward and best attitude. But I could tell that Justin and Cedrek and Sai and Mary were just like, “How’s it going?” every morning. “Hey, how’s your shoulder doing?”

And I was like: Okay, this is a liability here.  No matter what I do, they feel like I’m going to be a liability in challenges. And also, I’m the muscle guy of our group! I never once thought I was going to be the fastest guy in our tribe, so that was also shocking. But yeah, I think that honestly, the liability on my shoulder definitely made me think: I don’t even know how much time I’ll have left, and I know that they probably don’t think I have much time left either. So I think that’s why I just spiraled. The first vote was like: Let’s see what happens. And then second vote, I was like: I need to make a big move.

That’s super interesting. So not only maybe did it sort of spur them on to get you out, but also accelerated your gameplay knowing “I might only have a few days to play here, so I’m going to just throw everything in the middle of the table.”

Absolutely. I watched all the preseason interviews and I had so much gusto of playing a family tree and playing a long game. I had all these plans. When I injured my shoulder I was like, “How am I going to win that grip  immunity challenge? How am I going to go up a wall and carry myself up a rope?” These things were on my mind the first two days and I was like, “I either need to have a lot of immunity idols or a lot of alliances to carry me forward because my shoulder itself is a huge liability to win any immunity challenges going forward.

When a player is checked out for an injury, it’s not like the doctors just say, “All right, he’s good to go. See ya!” I’m assuming they’re checking in with you constantly. Can you tell us a little bit about that in terms of your interactions with the medical team after that first marooning challenge?

Thank you for the Survivor doctors. They did an incredible job. It’s so dramatic, but I feel like they saved my life in that moment. I really never popped my shoulder that badly before and it completely ripped out of the socket. I remember I couldn’t even lift it and I just didn’t understand this pain that was in my right shoulder. But Dr. Will came in, assessed it, popped it back in, and then checked in on the Vula beach.

I would go over to medical and they would be like, “Hey, how’s your shoulder?” They actually gave me ibuprofen to eat so that I could help the pain, but I had no food and no sleep so I kept throwing up the ibuprofen, and I was just throwing up water the first three or four days. So they kept asking me, “Is it okay?” And I just was like: I don’t want to get medevaced, so I have to smile. I have to put on a brave face.

But after that, I would go back and be like, “How am I going to do this?” I’m already kind of playing Survivor and I’m playing two games of Survivor. One game is the actual game with everybody, and then another game is just me trying to hold it together and just be okay for myself to just keep going on.

Which vote stung the most: Cedrek or Justin? Whom were you closer to out there if you were closer to one than the other?

I know people were like, “Oh, Kevin was on the top of that alliance and had a side alliance with Mary.” You guys saw in the premiere episode, I actually got dragged into that four person alliance. I actually had no idea anybody’s name or personalities going into the first couple days. I did the marooning challenge, and then I also did the supplies challenge. So when I came back, Sai immediately just said, “Hey, it’s going to be us four and that’s it.” And I was like, “Okay, what are the guy’s names? Cedrek and Justin?”

So I got looped into that pretty quickly. And then when I met Mary, I instantly bonded with Mary. So I was like, “Wow, this is a connection that I feel like I can connect with.” So that all was genuine. And Cedrek and Justin, I was like, “Okay, a guy’s alliance. This is very much a good thing. If Sai and Mary are kind of at it with each other, then having a guy’s alliance is very strong to build that trust.”

Now, what really stung was, I knew Cedrek and Justin were really close. Their personalities are just a lot more calm, cool, collected. They’re a lot more similar in terms of how they act versus me. I’m a lot more energetic and social, so I can see that that was already a duo, and I am the bottom of that four person alliance. So going into it, voting out Mary on this round actually was the plan. But I was just thinking in my head: First of all, I have limited time with my shoulder. Second, if Mary really goes out in this Tribal and we go down to four people, Civa and Lagi are so strong, they can put their four strongest people on the immunity challenge.

In my mind I was like: We’re going back to Tribal again. And if Sai had her idol, I am dead in the water. There’s no way I would make it past that vote. So I think that’s just why in that moment I tried to convince Justin and Cedrek, “Don’t you want an idol? It’s not really about taking out Sai, it’s more about: Do you want an idol in your hands to protect yourself going forward?” And Justin and Cedrek flipped and that’s it.

Tell me about being on that balance beam out in the water with Cedrek. What happened there?

Oh my gosh. What did Jeff say? Abysmal performance? It was abysmal. It was really bad. I mean, you guys saw it. Cedrek just kept leaning back every time, and I kept yelling, “Push me. Just literally lean into me and we get that pressure onto that buoy.” But I think the moment he touched it, he just leaned back. And my shoulder actually popped out a little bit as I dove in the first time. So I was cautious. I popped it back in actually as we were coming back up. And then as we were doing it, it just pained more and more and we’re falling probably 40 times. And then I hear Mitch swishing everything and Eva killing it, and I’m like, “I would love to be on that tribe. I would love to be in it with you guys.” But a terrible performance from Vula, just overall. Dismal.

What’s something else that happened out there that didn’t make it onto TV?

When me and Mary first met up in camp, I instantly bonded with her. And one of the reasons I bonded with her so easily is because she asked, “Hey, are you Chinese?” And I was like, “Yeah, I’m Chinese. It’s so cool that there’s two Chinese people in the Tribe!” So that was the first instant bond.

And then secondly, we talked about our parents and we both have similar parents. Both our parents are immigrants, her’s from China, mine are from Hong Kong. And it was just a really sweet moment where we shared about what it’s like to be growing up Asian-American, what it’s like to have immigrant parents. So that was a really sweet moment that we both bonded, and I felt like that was a deep personal connection to me. I saw her as a sister. Just like Cedrek sees Sai as a daughter, I saw Mary as the sister, so wanted to protect her.

How mad was Sai at you guys for not letting her get on the boat on that journey during the practice round?

The five days I was there, my mind was actually just starting to kind of go crazy. As each day went on, I never slept a single second because of my shoulder. So I was just up. And as each day was going, I was like, “Wow, I’m getting actually kind of bananas. This is actually getting crazy.” So when the 1, 2, 3 game came out, I was just like, “What’s happening?” I heard practice. It was just a lot of things happening. But honestly Sai already had an idol and I was like, if she has another advantage, that’s crazy. So when Mary went, I was not mad about it.

Listen, you packed a lot into a short amount of time, and as someone that actually got to see more of it that didn’t make it to TV, I’m very impressed with everything you went through out there.

Yeah, it’s hard. Looking back, I’m like, “Oh, how can I be even proud of myself or impressed with myself from just losing every immunity challenge, tearing my shoulder.” But just thinking about, “Wow, people think I’m a threat, even with a broken shoulder, a losing tribe, and people still think I’m a threat!” So I just was like, “Okay, maybe it’s not a bad thing after all.” And you know what a blindside means? People just thought you’re a good player. So, I definitely played really hard. That’s kind of why I’m here. But I’m just happy with not sitting on my hands.

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