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TORONTO — We live in a happiness-obsessed world. Self-help gurus promise paths to bliss, Instagram influencers peddle happiness as a lifestyle, and corporations build marketing campaigns around the pursuit of positive emotions. But new research suggests a surprising twist: trying too hard to be happy might actually be making us miserable.

Researchers from the University of Toronto Scarborough and the University of Sydney found that actively pursuing happiness drains our mental energy – the same energy we need for self-control. Their study, published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, challenges what many of us believe about happiness.

“The pursuit of happiness is a bit like a snowball effect. You decide to try making yourself feel happier, but then that effort depletes your ability to do the kinds of things that make you happier,” says Sam Maglio, marketing professor at the University of Toronto Scarborough and the Rotman School of Management, in a statement.

This might sound familiar: You wake up determined to have a great day. You plan mood-boosting activities and work hard to stay positive. But by evening, you’re ordering takeout instead of cooking, mindlessly scrolling social media, and snapping at your partner. Why? Your happiness pursuit itself might be the problem.

Maglio puts it bluntly: “The more mentally rundown we are, the more tempted we’ll be to skip cleaning the house and instead scroll social media.”

Testing the Happiness Drain

The research team ran four studies that gradually built their case.

First, they surveyed 532 adults about how much they valued and pursued happiness, then measured their self-reported self-control. The results showed a clear pattern: people who placed higher value on seeking happiness reported worse self-control abilities.

For their second study, they moved beyond self-reports to actual behavior. They had 369 participants complete a series of consumer choice rankings and measured how long they persisted at the task. Those with stronger tendencies to pursue happiness showed less persistence, suggesting their mental resources were already running low.

From Happiness Ads to Chocolate Cravings

For their third study, the researchers got clever. They intercepted 36 people at a university library and showed them either an advertisement that prominently featured the word “happiness” or a neutral ad without any happiness messaging. Then they offered participants chocolate candies, telling them to eat as many as they wanted while rating the taste.

“The story here is that the pursuit of happiness costs mental resources,” Maglio explains. “Instead of just going with the flow, you are trying to make yourself feel differently.”

The results were striking: people exposed to the happiness ad ate nearly twice as many chocolates (2.94 vs. 1.56 on average) – a classic sign of decreased self-control. This raises questions about happiness-themed marketing campaigns – they might actually be draining our willpower and setting us up to make choices we later regret.

Not All Goals Drain You the Same

For their final experiment, the researchers tackled an important question: Is happiness-seeking uniquely depleting, or does pursuing any goal require mental energy?

They had 188 participants make 25 choices between pairs of everyday products (like choosing between an iced latte and green tea). One group was told to choose options that would “improve their happiness,” while the other group chose based on what would “improve their accurate judgment.” Then everyone worked on a challenging anagram puzzle where they could quit whenever they wanted.

The happiness group quit much sooner – lasting only 444 seconds on average compared to 574 seconds for the accuracy group. This significant difference suggested that pursuing happiness specifically drains mental energy more than other types of goals.

This wasn’t Maglio’s first investigation into happiness backfiring. In a 2018 study with Kim, he found that people actively seeking happiness tend to feel like they’re running short on time, creating stress that ultimately makes them unhappier.

The Pressure To Feel Even Better

The self-improvement industry rakes in over $10 billion largely by promising to boost happiness. Bestsellers like “The Happiness Project,” “The Art of Happiness,” and “The Happiness Advantage” sell millions of copies with strategies for maximizing positive emotions. But this research suggests many of these approaches might be working against themselves.

The researchers note that the self-help industry puts “a lot of pressure and responsibility on the self.” Many people now treat happiness like money – “something we can and should gather and hoard as much as we can.” This commodification of happiness may be part of the problem, creating a mindset where we’re constantly striving for more rather than appreciating what we have.

Why This Happens

Think of self-control like a gas tank that gets emptied throughout the day. Psychologist Roy Baumeister’s research shows that every act of self-control – resisting temptation, controlling emotions, making decisions – uses fuel from the same tank.

Seeking happiness burns through this fuel quickly because it requires managing your actions, monitoring your thoughts, and actively changing your emotions. When your tank runs low, you’re more likely to make poor choices like overeating, overspending, or being short with others – creating a cycle that ultimately makes you less happy.

The Real Secret To Happiness

So should we abandon the pursuit of well-being? Not exactly. But the research suggests a more balanced approach might work better.

Maglio suggests we think of happiness like sand at the beach: “You can cling to a fistful of sand and try to control it, but the harder you hold, the more your hand will cramp. Eventually, you’ll have to let go.”

His advice cuts through the complexity with refreshing simplicity: “Just chill. Don’t try to be super happy all the time,” says Maglio, whose work is supported by a grant from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. “Instead of trying to get more stuff you want, look at what you already have and just accept it as something that gives you happiness.”

When we ease up on constantly trying to maximize happiness and accept a wider range of emotions, we might actually preserve the mental energy needed to make better decisions – and ultimately feel better.